how to be young, gay, and still make it.

A friend of mine compiled this list 

based solely on his life experiences.

I thought I'd share.

&no shade,
a lot of this can apply to anybody

so here goes,

25 Bits of Advice to Help You Find Your Way In The Gay World.

1. Be Real. 

Nobody likes a fake bitch, and nobody respects one.

2. Demand your respect. 

Make it a basic requirement. 

They don't have to like you but they should, 

if nothing else, respect you. 

3. Don't lie. 

Now yes that seems like a obvious thing to know, 

but in the gay world there's bigger consequences to doing so. 

It makes it hard to trust you about more than just what you say, 

it makes you partially fake, it makes the true things you say suspect to scrutiny, 

and its one of the hardest reputations to get rid of, 

because while people may forgive you they always remember it.

4. Its okay to be shady.

But not all the time, 

not to everybody, 

never to your friends, 

and not always obviously.
Shade is better served in moderation and with discretion. 

5. Dont Carry. (Do too much) 

Everybody will be over you for doing it,

and it can make you seem late even if you not
and people who don't know you will be turned off 

from wanting to know you. 

Chill out. Be easy. 

And if you full really don't
carry because then it makes you look like a fool 

and the people that are with you also. 

Cuz its nothing worse
than somebody who gets full and start carryin. 

Cuz everybody lookin at you like sit yo ass down somewhere.

6. Dont be a Fighter. 

If you the one thats always in a fight theres a problem. 

Especially if its always with different people
Re-evaluate yourself and make sure its not you. 

Cuz most likely it is. 

And don't go by what the clowns who always fighting with you say, 

cuz they need to sit down too. 

Don't be the group nobody wants at the party cuz they know you going
to get into it with somebody before the night is out.

You can be hot and turn it without getting into it with people ALL the time.
And no you not getting into it with everybody because they cant take you, 

or they all jealous. 

Theres another problem in this equation boo boo.

The math is simple if the one thing all these situations have in common is you, you got your answer.

7. Always give roses. 

Now thats an analogy puppies. 

When girls win a contest they give them a crown, a sash, and roses. 

Thats where that one comes from. 

& the meaning is this: 

When somebody does well at something admit it. 

Even if you don't particularly like the person,
you still give credit where its due. 

You aint got to hug the bitch but if the shoes was cute then admit it. 

Cuz if you the only one to say they not when they clearly are, 

you look jaded. and then you open your self up for some one to say
that the truth is you just cant take it so you lying like you don't see it 

and you know damn well you do. 

The smart thing to do is roll the compliment into an obvious read. 

Example: "OK, he look hot tonight; The outfit is hot, I wonder who picked it out for him? Cuz he usually looks a complete buffoon." 

OR: "That D&G shirt is every thing, but it doesn't go with all his acne." 

See you admit the outfit is right and still highlight a flaw. 

But thats only if needed. 

If you have nothing to read about then just
say his jeans is hot and leave it at that. 

Or shut the fuck up altogether.

8. Know when to shut the fuck UP! 

Don't talk to much. and not at the wrong times. 

Cuz you can just fuck things up for other people and yourself.

And PLEASE don't just volunteer information to people when you don't need to.
Especially when you don't really know what you're talking about. 

And the worst thing is it makes you seem messy.

9. Dont be messy!!! 

Seriously people, everybody hates a messy bitch! 

this means more than one of these other rules apply to you
and you still don't even realize it. 

Some of the messiest ones swear they not. 

And thats usually because you looking at it from your messy ass point of view. 

Just because you wasn't in the fight isn't the point. 

You was the one that got it all going from the beginning! 

Or you was the go-between passing unnecessary messages between them and yo ass
really aint got shit to do with it in the first place. 

When they probably need to knock you for being so damn messy!

10. The TEA. 

So you like to be a tea pot huh? 

Well okay lil miss Gossip Girl, here's some advice from one of the best in the game
A Good Tea Pot NEVER spills the tea, but will occasionally serve the tea. 

Now thats some real shit right there muffins!
Because when people know they can tell you shit and you aint going to run yo trap, 

they will easily give it up. 

When they know you a motor mouth, they watch what they tell you, 

cuz they know yo tea pot don't hold water. 

And the good thing is when you
have a good rep for keeping a secret then, 

you can link with other tea pots like you in the network 

to get new tea, more tea, and tea you missed and fill in the blanks on tea, 

its a whole information exchange. But be careful the power of knowledge is great.
And if you fuck up and start spilling and become a cracked pot 

they will all lock yo ass out of the fold. 

See 11 for serving guide. 

11. Serving Tea is a learned technique. 

Most people think that spilling the Tea and serving are the same thing and thats not the case.
When you have information about someone or something then it can sometimes give you an advantage, 

but not always. 

When it does just the fact that you know can sometimes keep them in fear that you might dish. and you shouldn't dish unless provoked 

or you have a personal need or something to gain or benefit from doing so. 

Telling just to tell it is only gossip 

but if you use it to clear your name or the name of a close friend, 

or to retaliate for something done against you, then its served. 

And if told at the right time and place its served steaming HOT.

12. Put in work, and pay your dues. 

You don't become a VIP overnight. 

You might make a splash when you first get out but trust, 

you still have a lot to learn and a long way to go. 

You have to learn things, start to know people, 

make friendships and relationships with people
and create a good name and reputation for yourself. 

You're not a VIP just because you decide you are. 

And just because your gay mom or dad is a big deal 

it doesn't mean you're already on the same level, because you're not. 

you have to learn and grow in the gay community. 

Just because people live for you and tell you you're hot does not mean that you
are so advanced that you can act any kind of way. 

When you do it will eventually make you bump heads with the wrong people.
And again don't think just because all your friends think you are the tea 

and you the most popular out of them
that you are that hot, because yall all young so they got as much to learn as you do. 

Just take your time, you'll get there.

13. Gay Parents. 

This is something too many young people take too lightly. 

A gay parent isn't just a gay person you pick
to be your parent just because you think they cute or they hot. 

If you're 18 and your gay parent is 19 or 20 thats backwards. 

That's kids having kids. 

They aint been out long enough to know alot so how can they show you the ropes?
You pick gay parents because you have things in common, 

and you feel that your personalities click, in addition to
them being cute, a VIP, able to dress, or hot overall. 

But this needs to be someone who is trying to show you the things to stay away from in the gay life. 

How to protect yourself from bullshit, drama, and mess. 

They are people who know the old and the young, 

they have been through the good and the bad, and sometimes the ugly; 

and they have knowledge to pass down to help you to make sound and smart choices out here, 

and keep you out of stuff you shouldn't be in. 

Your Gay parent is Your Mentor. 

They look out for you. They advise you. 

They tell you when you right and when you wrong. 

They read you when you are being late, 

and don't sugar coat shit.they encourage you to do your best, 

and are there when you do.

When you have a person who is slightly older and takes you under their wing thats a big brother or sister.
Not a gay mom or dad. 

If they been out for 2 yrs and they got 5 kids thats silly, 

they just doing it just to do it.
Be smart in who you choose, but cause it can help shape who you become in the gay world.

14. Be careful who you connect yourself to. 

The saying goes, you are who you hang around. 

Most times if your friends are messy, you probably are too. 

When its not, you have to know when to let some people go. 

Not fall out or stop speaking to them, 

but to not be the one thats always standing right there when the shit is going down, 

even if you not doing nothing but being there. 

Cuz sometimes you can be guilty by association. 

It can get you beat up, it can make somebody not wanna talk to you, 

it can cause people who don't like them or deal with them, to feel the same way about you. 

When you see somebody you are hanging around is going down a bad road, you try to steer them back, 

but if you cant then you have to be strong enough to distance yourself from them and they drama, 

til they get it together. 

And that goes for alot of stuff, if they being hoish, fighting, shady, gossipy, all that. 

Be careful what you connect yourself to. 

It can be all people remember about you or know about you, 

don't let others actions speak for you.

15. Have enough balls to admit when you wrong. 

When you fuck up, admit it, apologize and move on. 

Don't just sit around like you too good to make a mistake. 

Be gracious enough to say hey, my bad I shouldn't have done that,
or I shouldn't have said that, or told your business, or whatever it is 

and say I was wrong, and move forward.
People respect someone like that.

16. Know how to have fun without ruining it for other people. 

You can have a good time with out overdoing it.
Don't act like you Diddy or Beyonce every time you hit a club or party. 

Just do you. 

You don't have to have the kind of swag that says I'm so much better than everybody. 

You aint got to dance super wild, and be super loud, and bump people
and act like you own the bar. 

Just have a good time with yo friends.

17. Don't boss up all the time. 

Every time somebody say something to you, don't get bossy. 

Like nobody can say anything to you,
or like you are so hot you are above being talked to. 

Every situation doesn't have to become a fight. 

If somebody tries to talk to you to clear the air about something, 

you can talk with out getting bossy all the time. 

And if you don't wanna talk then be grown walk away. 

Be an adult. Settle stuff with words. Calmly and like you not 12. 

Don't put on a show for everybody all the time.

18. Never argue or read with your friends in public. 

That's tired. Never give them a show. 

Settle it when you all are alone.
People love to see friends fight and fall out. 

Don't give them that. Even if you pissed. 

Stay quiet and then handle it in the car or at home. 

Not for everybody to see and discuss.

19. Don't tell all your business. 

Learn not to tell people everything. 

Some stuff you keep to yourself.
Even your closest and best friends. 

And especially people you don't know well. 

Don't tell everything.

20. Have fun, but stay focused. 

Know how to balance work and play. 

School, work, and business should always come first.
Not clubbin, balls, and gay shit. 

If you broke all the time you cant have much fun. 

and people hate the person that never has money to travel or get in the bar, 

or to get a drink, they get tired of a broke ass. 

You always need a ride?
you never have your own place? 

Thats not wassup. 

When you know that you got to work at seven AM, its okay to miss the club.
Or when you know you have an early class, then you stay home. 

Handle your biz first. then you hang and play. 

Its not all clubs and clothes. 

Its maintaining a well rounded life as an adult. 

a clean furnished home, a reliable car. 

Paid bills and money in your pocket. 

A responsible adult.

21. If you going to be a bad bitch, be one. 

Not when you think you can pull it off. 

You have to be prepared to walk the walk and talk the talk. 

Or just sit yo ass down. 

Now being a bad bitch doesn't mean you walk around
like you all that and cant nobody tell you shit. 

But its having all these other things down to a tee. 

And being the person who wants the limelight. 

Have the swag 24/7 and the brains to go with it. 

When you have all of this wisdom 

and the bad bitch swag, then you can be one.

But there aint no half steppin.

22. Don't always trust other people's information. 

If you didn't see it, hear it, or do it yourself, 

Then don't be so eager to run with it. 

You can end up regretting it. 

And if you wanna address it, 

go to the source and confirm it first, 

then confront it. And deal with it.

23. Know when to draw the line! 

Don't just sit around and accept what people throw your way. 

Don't take that shit.
If people cant treat you the way you deserve to be treated 

then drop they ass and say fuck em' no matter who it is!
Friends, family, everybody. 

Speak up for yourself at all times. 

Even if it gets you into a fight beat up or out numbered.
Nobody respects a punk ass or a hoe ass thats too afraid to stand up for they self.

24. Pussy is power. 

Remember that. aint shit free or easy. 

If a nigga fuckin you all the time, 

you shouldn't have trouble
paying yo cell phone bill, 

getting in the bar, getting a drink 

or some shoes or an outfit. I

'm not saying fuck for cash
but when done right, 

you shouldn't be broke if you cute. 

cuz a nigga will do shit for you based off the chance that he
might be sleep with you or be with you. 

and if you smart and play it right you wont ever have to do anything sexually
to get what u need. he does it cuz he "lives for you" (likes you). 

Cuz real talk if you have to fuck to get a pair of
J's and an out fit and 50 to spend for the night, you doin somethin wrong...lol. 

for a long explanation
go download or listen to 

Foxy Brown - I Cant, from the Chyna Doll CD. 

Pure knowledge. 

and then Trina - The Baddest Bitch
the Lil Kim - Big Momma Thing. 

You should know those all by heart, 

and memorize the lyrics and apply them to life in general.

25. Be a true friend or not at all. 

Don't smile in somebody face and read them or shade them behind they back. 

Thats sooooo late. And it makes you fake (see #1). 

Treat them they way you like to be treated. 

And if you cant be true then leave them alone. 

If yo friend don't have money to get in the bar, then front it for yo friend. 

thats late if yo whole group going and one of yo friends cant go because they broke that weekend, 

yall all chip in and help out that night.
and if they always seem to be broke then open yo mouth 

and say bitch you need to get a job cuz we cant always carry you.
to the bar, and you sip our drinks. 

or if they got a job they say bitch save your money better 

so when its time to go out you got coins. 

or if they just got too many bills be like boo, 

you need to stay home more until you get yo bills caught up.

Source

Part 2 of this list is still being compiled.
If you have any comments, let me have it!